Would you rather poke a sharp stick in your eye than “deal with” (you add the name)? Do you avoid, attack, or complain rather than get interested?
Being effective in the complex set of cultures, histories, and personalities these days is a critical capability. Most of us have made feeble attempts at influencing strategies, more nearly making snap assessments (judgmentally) about how they are or gross assumptions about why our preferred approach should work. Why? Because it takes 1) time to think and 2) a genuine interest in taking different actions than we would on automatic.
Instead of struggling or blowing the person off, why not make it interesting? Ask yourself:
- What is our mutual accountability or interest?
- What do I know about the person’s background, motivations, hot-buttons, patterns of speech and behavior, etc.?
Then step back and THINK. What pathway can you see to:
- Getting access or attention?
- Shaping the message to create an opening?
- Expediting the decision? or
- Better understanding the person…so that you can do a better job next time.
By the way, this works with your family members as well as business life, especially spouses and kids. But, you have to get out of your own desire to make it happen your way and into an interest in seeing what is possible.
Let me know how it works for you. Call me at (215) 321-1916 if you have a particularly gnarly person or situation in mind.
In the meantime, check out our Virtual Work Groups! at http://maviscompany.com/work-groups/ that are ready to start in March. It’s a subscription for a virtual learning, coaching, and results-producing experience. Priced at $145 ro $175 per month, you can’t afford to pass it up!