I am a very judgmental person. That’s right, I’m critical of others. If I’ve been or am your coach, sorry to break the news this way. I don’t mean to be…but I’m human.
And, the person I am often most critical of is…ME. The difference in my self-criticalness is that I usually see where my deficit comes from and sometimes give myself a break.
I guess I could blame my mother and father (because they have a lot of judgments as well), but I’m 53 now so that doesn’t cut it anymore.
The only comfort I have is that I haven’t met a non-judgmental person yet. Even the very nicest of people (and sometimes especially the nice ones) are judging of others.
As a coach, I am often working with people about their vulnerability (that others judge) or their judgments of people with whom they need to work well. And, thinking about how to help people do better with people, I’ve reached into my eclectic training to ponder on the nature of this part of our reality.
As a parent of a 14 year old son, I have been using that same training to survive the toughest job ever. All of this thinking applies perfectly to all of our relationships–family relationships often being difficult and important.
I’ve found a way to think about these quirky, difficult people that eases me into a more effective way of operating and keeps my own energy productive. It’s going to sound simple, but I hope you see the complexity as well. Here it is: if you replace your immediate @#*!! reaction to someone who is different in a difficult way for you with “People Are Funny,” you can create a shift in your mindset from “hijacked” to “curious”. I’m not perfect at this yet, but I’m ready to share the work more broadly.
Tell me what you think, ask a question, and stay tuned for more!